PR Writing: More than the Nuts and Bolts

If you work in public relations, or if PR responsibilities fall to you by default in your company, consider these basics:

Think First, Write Later – Idea should precede expression. Let yours bang around your brain a while before putting anything on paper. Then answer these questions: How does this relate to members of my audience? How can I best engage and persuade them to be concerned? How can I grab and hold their attention?

Develop a “Creativity System” – Most creativity is the result of building on an idea that’s been around a while, or combining two ideas to make something new. Borrow systematically and keep files of good materials. Make notes when ideas hit you, and so on….

KISS – Keep it simple, stupid. It’s amazing how many of us don’t adhere to this rule. The aim is to communicate as clearly as possible. Know the members of your audience and write to them. Cut out unnecessary words, avoid jargon, be specific and so on….

Learn to Love the Draft – As much as we’d like to believe we’re the best communicators in the world, we probably won’t get it right the first time. Write, revise, revise, revise, then revise again.

Write short, sweet and to the point. What you write will be stronger, more memorable and, most importantly, will communicate your message more effectively.

* (Borrowed) From “4 steps to better PR writing” by Fraser P. Seitel

It's a Red letter day! July 2009

Common Traits of Uncommon Ads

In “Made to Stick,” an insightful read for anyone in advertising and marketing, Chip and Dan Health explain “Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die.”

In a section entitled, “Systematic Creativity,” they mention an Israeli study, “The Fundamental Templates of Quality Ads.” In it, the researchers explain six “templates” underlying award-winning ads. They suggest that, by using the templates, creative teams can engage in focused creativity and generate stronger, more effective ideas. Here are the templates:

• Pictorial Analogy – Portrays situations in which a symbol is introduced into the product space. Example: A tennis ball in the shape of a croissant to advertise the French Open.

• Extreme Situation – Presents unrealistic situations to draw attention to a product’s key attributes. Example: A spot for locks featuring an old lady scaring burglars away by barking at them.

• Consequences – Conveys the implications of following or ignoring an ad’s recommendations. Example: A commercial for car speakers that shows a car on a bridge with the speakers so loud that the bridge is about to collapse.

• Competition – Pits a product in competition with a product from another class. Example: An advertised car racing a bullet.

• Interactive Experiment – Creates realization of a product’s benefits by forcing audience members to interact with the medium in which the ad appears. Example: A shampoo ad that contains a big black patch. When a viewer interacts with the patch, the need for anti-dandruff shampoo becomes obvious.

• Dimensionality Alteration – Manipulates the dimension of a product in relation to its environment. Example: A spot that shows a widow arguing with her deceased husband about the need for life insurance.

There’s much more to all of this, of course. To learn more, read “Made to Stick” and check out the study.

New Work

DMS Health Technologies, Advertising Marketing

View Full Series
A direct mail series to aid in selling DMS Health Technologies mobile, interim and fixed-site diagnostic imaging solutions to health providers across the United States.






DMS Health Technologies
Shanna Flanagan
Christi Kukes

Advertising Marketing
Travis Kurtz – Creative Team, Account Management
John Holland – Creative Team, Design

FredComm
Creative Team, Copywriting

It seems like everywhere I go, the more I see the less I know. - Michael Franti

On My Mind Lately

I love watching sports on TV – football, hoops, baseball golf…you name it.

Lately, a quirk of sports commentary has been getting to me. I should say, rather, a quirk of sports commentary has been getting to me as of late.

• On deck is Joe Mauer, who has been extremely hot with the bat as of late.

• Tiger’s been struggling with the driver as of late, possibly due to his recent knee surgery.

Perhaps they think it makes them sound more intelligent (it doesn’t),or maybe they’re using unnecessary words to fill up air space. Either way, “It’s LATELY!” I shout wildly at the screen. My poor wife, Cassi, can only chuckle, pat my knee and tell me I really must let that stuff go.

She’s right, I should, but as of late I’m still screaming.

The Beautiful Period

Sentences come under special strain in marketing writing. We’re trying to cram a lot of facts and sell into small spaces under tight deadlines. Sometimes, we’re tempted to tag on afterthoughts where they don’t belong.

Unfortunately, the longer the sentence, the less readable it is, the less punch, the more exposure to syntax errors and, worst of all, the more likely you are to lose your reader’s interest.

Chop up long sentences into functional components and aim for the journalism average of 16 words. This is just an average; variety in length provides relief to your reader.

Long, complicated sentences are no obstacle to professional communicators, but we don’t write for each other. Periods are beautiful; use them.

Mighty Mauer at the Bat

Bottom of the 9th. Down three runs. One runner on, two outs, behind in the count… Wham!

Closer Jon Papelbon and his Red Sox teammates could only gawk as the ball jumped, climbed, soared into the highest collapsed seats of right center field, then turn away, hang their heads and watch from under their brims as the batter circled the bases. Whatchya gonna do? Papelbon seemed to say with a dejected head shake and shoulder slump. It’s Joe Mauer.

It was May 25, the beginning of the four-game home series against Boston. In the bottom of the 9th the Twins were down 6-3, and down to their last hope to pull out a win.

Jason Kubel led off with a single to right, and the rally caps were on. Michael Cuddyer stepped up but struck out looking. Brian Buscher’s fly to center was out number two. Mike Redmond was next in the order, but Manager Ron Gardenhire called for a pinch hitter. A rumble rose from the lower level seats to the upper deck and on up to the cover of the Metrodome. People got up, clapping like crazy, cheering, “Joe! Joe! Joe!” Twins fans sensed a little of that May Mauer Magic.

Mauer strode confidently to the plate. He’d been sitting all day because of a hand injury suffered against the Brewers the previous evening, but no matter. The low rumble rose, louder and louder to become the “lusty yell” that greeted Mighty Casey in Mudville.

After each pitch there was a hush, then a slow rebuilding of the lusty yell, a hush, and again the dull roar would build again. Then, down in the count, one ball and two strikes, Ka-Blam! Everyone in the place knew it was gone the moment he made contact, and we went wild.

Not that anyone – from the Twins, the Sox, the media or among the fans – was surprised. Mauer had been doing it throughout May. He had been so hot with the bat that, according the Twins beat writer for MLB.com, Kelly Thesier, the chit-chat in the Twins bullpen wasn’t the usual about opposing batters, but what each pitcher would do if he had to face Joe Mauer. As opposing teams have been saying week in and week out, Watchya gonna do?

The long ball against Boston was the catcher’s third in three consecutive games. In May, Mauer went yard 11 times, and he had a club record 32 RBIs. “Mauer’s month has not just been impressive, it’s been historic,” wrote Thesier. “His .414 batting average, .500 on-base percentage and .838 slugging percentage were the best in May among any player in baseball who recorded at least 75 plate appearances.”

The Shot, as I’ll forever call it, was one for the ages. It wasn’t just that Mauer hit the ball so hard, so high or so far, but that he did it ice cold after sitting on the bench all day. Ice it was, too, because that’s clearly what flows through Mauer’s veins. And it isn’t that he hit the dinger, but that everyone expected, or feared, he would. I’m guessing Mauer had the same expectation, and that’s what makes him so fun to watch and cheer for, even if you’re a fan of the other team.

After the din died in the Dome, Delmon Young came to the plate. But the rally caps faltered; it was a fly out to right. Game over. Sox, 6; Twins, 5.

In the great scheme, The Shot didn’t mean much. It came in a losing effort in a run-of-the-mill game on an average day in the regular season. But there isn’t anything run-of-the-mill, average or regular about the guy who provided its signature moment. Unlike Casey, this guy delivers.

There’s a new might in M-ville, and his name is Mauer.

You're Trash

An addendum to the David Sedaris post. In talking with my wife, Cassi, about the evening I remembered a couple of stories Sedaris relayed that I didn’t include in yesterday’s post.

One was simply an anecdote about a conversation he had with a flight attendant who, apparently, was in a revealing mood. He told Sedaris that people fart on planes all the time, and it can get kind of disgusting. As for the flight attendants, because of the noise from the engines and air vents, they feel free, as the walk up and down the aisle, to let fly. "Crop dusting," they call it. They also have a way of getting back at irritating passengers. Just before it's time to strap in for the approach, they always go around and collect everyone's garbage. We've all seen and heard it. They come down the aisle with a bag open and, to each passenger, say, "Your trash." At least, that's what we think they're saying. The truth, the attendant told Sedaris, is they're saying "You're trash" and "Your family's trash." No one ever catches on, the attendant said, but it sure feels good, especially if someone's been a real prick.

The other story, one he read, was about how good the communion hosts are in church, and overweight people who want to gorge on them.

That reminded me of when I was an altar boy in Medora. Like any bread product, the wafers will get stale if they're too old. The priests always have to keep enough on hand, but sometimes they overestimate the popularity of their services. The result is old hosts that need to be gotten rid of. Problem is, no one wants to be tossing the body of Christ into the dumpster behind the church. But, the fact is, the hosts are not Christ until they're blessed, so the priests only bless as many as they need at a time. Our priest in Medora went a little further. Rather than tossing the unblessed wafers, which weren't too old, he'd give them to the altar boys. I took mine home and ate them like cereal, with milk and sugar.

When I told that to Cassi, she couldn't believe it. And there it was, another reason to think Catholics are a little off. Or maybe another reason to think they’re a little on; I mean, why throw those yummy wafers in the trash when there are people starving in the world?

Author, Author?

David Sedaris is a VERY funny man. My wife, Cassi, and I had a chance to hear him read last night at the NDSU bookstore. I haven’t laughed so hard and so free for a long time.

Sedaris is a regular contributor to This American Life on National Public Radio and to magazines like The New Yorker, and is the author of "Barrel Fever," "Naked," "Holidays on Ice," "Me Talk Pretty One Day," "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim," and, his latest, "When You Are Engulfed in Flames."

He read all unpublished material, which was great. I can’t wait to see some of what we heard in print. One piece in particular, called “Just a quick e-mail,” punched us repeatedly and unexpectedly with hilarious payoffs. There was another piece – can’t recall the name – that he wrote for This American Life that was rejected. We’ll never see it in print, Sedaris said, for reasons that became clear as he read it. One of the main characters in the piece was a professor he took a “Politics and Contemporary Art” class from in New York. The piece doesn’t work unless you hear it read, which was one of the reasons it was rejected, Sedaris said. The professor pronounced words like “Nicaragua” “Latino” and others in a way that, coming out of Sedaris’s mouth, just knocked us over with laughter.

He also shared a story about being inundated with breast milk stories from fans after reading a piece in which breast milk figured. Women would come up and tell him about different uses they put their breast milk to when they were nursing – in pancake mix for the family, in the morning coffee when there was no cream left in the ‘fridge, etc. He invited anyone with a breast milk story to please share it when it was their turn at the signing table, then mentioned he’d never tasted breast milk and had to admit he was curious.

As we were sitting there in the front row about 10 feet from the signing table, waiting for our turn, the woman in front of Sedaris opened a small lunchbox-type cooler, pulled out a little bottle of breast milk and offered it to him. “I’ll be sorry forever if I pass up this opportunity,” he said, then stuck his finger into the bottle and licked it.” I suppressed a little gag while Cassi’s mouth dropped open. “Oh, my God,” she said, rather loudly. “I hope she’s been tested. You can get diseases from that, you know. I work in a hospital; I know.”

We waited for more than two hours to meet Sedaris and have our stuff signed. During our two minutes or less with the author he asked if we had ever tasted breast milk. We both told him, no, that we’d never had the inclination, even though we had been through breast feeding with three kids.

I took “When You Are Engulfed in Flames” and Cassi took “Author, Author?” It’s a piece about his travels around the U.S. for book signings published in the March 30, 2009, issue of The New Yorker. The story, which had the subtitle “Life among the shopping carts,” contained segments about some of his signings held at Wal-Marts, Costcos and the like. At the table, Sedaris told Cassi a story about the title for the piece. He said The New Yorker had recently run something under the original title he had suggested, and the editor he was working with countered with something like “Writing in America’s Box Stores,” instead. (Neither Cassi nor I can remember the original title or the editor’s suggestion – we must have been suffering from a temporary bout of celebrity proximity punch drunkness.) Sedaris didn’t like that and, in a counter-counter e-mail, suggested “Author, Author.” In a case or premature e-mailation, he accidentally had switched the second quotation mark with the question mark. So, instead of writing, “How about ‘Author, Author’?” he wrote, “How about ‘Author, Author?’” And that’s how the piece was printed. Of course, to appreciate how funny it was you would have had to hear Sedaris tell the story himself, with his high voice making the high lilt to indicate the question mark that really didn’t make any sense.

Anyway, above his signature in The New Yorker he put a big, red “X” through the question mark. As for me, he asked what I do for a living and I told him I was an advertising/marketing copywriter. In the book he wrote, “To Martin. I look forward to reading your copy.”

I’d love to share a photo from the evening, but no pictures were allowed. That’s standard for Sedaris book signings. He even mentioned it in “Author, Author?”

"Shoppers passed with their enormous carts, most loaded with children, who gaped through the bars at this ridiculous nobody, sitting by himself at a folding table. Making it just that much more pathetic was the sign next to me, the big one reading, 'No Photos, Please.' It would be my greatest pleasure not to take your picture, I imagined people thinking. I mean, just who the hell do you think you are?"

Ralph Engelstad Gift Column Clarified

I exchanged e-mails yesterday with a friend and colleague who also is a UND graduate who loves the Sioux name. He made some good arguments, some of which I agreed with and some I didn't. For example, he said Engelstad was in his rights to use whatever leverage he had to keep the things the way he wanted. He also compared the strings attached to his gift to a parent saving money for a child, but the child can only get it to use for higher education.

Here is my response to my friend, which I think clarifies my position somewhat:

Dear Friend's Name

Fair enough, and many points taken.

In my view, UND should never have taken the money in the first place with those kinds of strings attached. The writing was on the wall regarding the upcoming debate over the nickname, even then. North Dakota – through UND and the board – should have said, “Sorry, Mr. Engelstad, but we can’t let you dictate those kinds of issues to us. Thanks, but no thanks.”

So, to your point… we took the money. But, to my point, we still could have chosen not to play ball…or, in this case, puck.

You’ll notice I never argued in the piece, nor do I argue now, that Engelstad shouldn’t have played the cards he had in his hand. He certainly had the right to do that and, had I been in his position, I probably would have done the same thing. My argument is that we as a state should not have capitulated, even with a half-finished hockey arena sitting on the open plains.

Overall, my feeling in 2000 (and now) is that UND, the board and the state as a whole (since both UND and the board represent all ND citizens, like it or not), should have told Engelstad, “If you want to halt construction on the arena, Mr. Engelstad, that’s your prerogative. However, we won’t be dictated to just because you have the money we would love to have. Again, thanks, but no thanks.” Bottom line – I would rather have seen a half-completed, empty arena than cow-tow to the threat. In rolling over, we gave up our pride and self-respect. You’re right on the money with the examples you use (MSUM and a parent saving for education with strings attached) but, respectfully, I think that’s apples to oranges. With an issue of this magnitude, I do not believe North Dakotans or any of our institutions should give away our self determination to anyone who is willing to give us enough money. Do you?

Regarding the NCAA being the threat makers now, I see that point. However, North Dakota still has the right to say, “Screw you,” to the NCAA, keep the Sioux name and logo, continue on and deal with the consequences. Rather than detracting from my point, this supports it: North Dakotans should have a right to decide for ourselves, and to decide whether we want to accept the results, be they a half-completed arena or no NCAA tournament play.

Regarding “the minority in power overrule the majority,” I think it would be interesting to conduct a poll to determine how North Dakotans feel about being threatened, and if we’re willing to relinquish our self-determination to anyone who holds out the carrot of several million. I’d be willing to bet the $100 million I do not have that the vast majority of North Dakotans do not believe our state or any of its institutions should be blackmailed. And, in my view, that’s what this whole thing has amounted to.

Anyway, thanks for the give and take. I’m sure I’ll see many of your arguments in letters to the editor lambasting me in coming days. Luckily, I have a very thick skin.

Later

Martin

A Good Day for North Dakota

An edited version of this column appeared in The Forum, Fargo, under the headline, “A belated redemption for UND."

“A sad day for North Dakota,” Kris Engelstad McGarry called it. With all due respect to McGarry, many North Dakotans view it as a day of redemption when some sense was restored to a state that thrives on common sense.

McGarry, daughter of the late Ralph Engelstad, referred to the North Dakota State Board of Higher Education’s May 14 decision to accelerate the deadline for tribal approval of the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux nickname. If the two North Dakota Sioux tribes do not approve 30-year agreements to support continued use of the name by October, UND must begin transitioning to a new moniker and symbol.

It is a belated redemption because the current board has taken a positive step to correct the action of the board of December 2000. That board inserted itself into the nickname/logo debate the day after Engelstad sent the now infamous “Dear Chuck” letter to then-UND president Charles Kupchella. In the Dec. 20, 2000 letter, Engelstad wrote that he would halt work on the half-completed Ralph Engelstad Arena, what was destined to become the home of the UND hockey team, if the Sioux name and logo were not retained. At the time, he had invested $35 million into the $85 million project. He sent copies of the letter to members of the Board of Higher Education, which was set to meet the next day.

“Please do not consider this letter a threat in any manner, as it is not intended to be,” Engelstad wrote.

We North Dakotans tend to call things the way we see them, and that was what we call a threat. It was a strong one, at that, a gun held to the head of Kupchella, UND and North Dakota as a whole. When the board voted unanimously to retain the Sioux name and logo, it gave him the ammunition.

That was the real sad day for North Dakota, regardless of how you feel about the name issue. And there really is no need to add anything to that discussion.

Fervent voices have adequately presented the arguments on both sides. I can appreciate the strong feelings of those who love the Sioux name and logo. As a North Dakota State University alumnus, I would have the same deep feelings if someone said “Bison” had to go away. I can also understand those who question the use of a name and logo that members of the culture they represent find demeaning or offensive.

What many North Dakotans didn’t like was the intimidation, and our loss of self-respect was even worse. Do as I say, Engelstad clearly told us, or you won’t get your hockey arena. This, to people who have fended for ourselves for generations. Who was Engelstad to tell us what we could or could not do? Surely, if UND needed a new arena that badly, funds could be raised in other ways from other people.

Unfortunately, the board apparently saw it another way and, with its 8-0 vote, sent a return letter to Engelstad with our pride enclosed.

By all accounts, the Engelstad Arena is a marvel, a monument to UND, its hockey team and Engelstad himself. But it cost us much more than the money it took to build.

In her comments, McGarry said she was not surprised by the “lack of conviction” of the state board and UND President Robert Kelly in fighting for the Sioux name and logo. On the contrary, their actions demonstrated a return to conviction, a restoration of the pride that will not allow North Dakota to be bullied, regardless of how much money is at stake.

A Not-So-Tongue-in-Cheek Take on the Client-Vendor Relationship

The freelancer or agency relationship with clients can be great, OK or not so great. Usually, friction revolves around the question of fees and costs. The following video, posted on YouTube by NYC designer and SwissMiss owner Tina Roth Eisenberg, captures some of the frustrations we service providers deal with. Check it out.

"The Vendor-Client Relationship -In Real World Situations"

It's a Red letter day! June 2009

Vol. 6, Issue 6, June 2009

Evaluating Brand Positioning Lines

A strong brand positioning line tells prospects, customers and other stakeholders what a company or organization does and why it is different from or better than the competition. So what goes into crafting a good one?

Here are FredComm’s criteria:

Brand Illuminating – A strong positioning line addresses and provides a platform for conveying a brand’s core and extended identity elements. It is not necessary for a line to completely encompass the extended elements, but it should provide a strong basis for supporting the core message with them.

Interesting / Compelling – A positioning line can, and should, spark interest among prospects, customers and other stakeholders and nudge them toward wanting to learn more.

Differentiating – As we strive to claim a specific position in the marketplace, we need to explain how we are different or superior to those who provide the same or similar products or services. No line can accomplish this alone, but a good one will set the stage.

Based on Fact / Speak the Truth – A positioning line should be solidly grounded. One that blatantly contradicts stakeholders’ perceptions will not work and could harm the brand. An effective line builds on indisputable strengths and potential to convey what a company is today and what it is striving to be tomorrow.

Provide a Central Theme – A good positioning line provides avenues for expanding upon the extended identity elements that give the brand its full meaning. In doing so, it can become the lynchpin for a strong advertising and marketing campaign.

Explainable – Traditionally, a positioning statement is one sentence that defines a company and its direction. In this context, a positioning statement is a more thorough explanation of why a particular positioning line makes sense, fits for the company and can be applied in moving the company forward. If a line is difficult for the marketing team to explain, if it feels forced, it should be reworked or discarded.

Fredricks Earns NDPC Sweepstakes

Martin Fredricks and his collaborators have earned 25 category awards and the Sweepstakes Award in the 2009 N.D. Professional Communicators competition. The Sweepstakes is based on points for individual category awards and the number of entries in each category.

The awards recognize 2008 materials FredComm completed for Adventure Shooting Sports; Advertising Marketing and its client, Fargo Jet Center; Dawson Insurance; the Greater Fargo Moorhead EDC; HUSUM WindEnergy; Jubae Design and its clients, Tower Tech Systems and Broadwind Energy; and Otter Tail Power Company. Collaborators included John Holland, Travis Kurtz and John Peterson of Advertising Marketing; Brad Clemenson of Brad Clemenson Design; Kim LePage Briss of Jubae; and Ellen Shafer of Shafer PR.

Fredricks also earned awards for personal columns for The Red letter and op-ed pieces written for The Forum.

The Good Word
You Can Do This

Imagine if the Little Blue Engine had repeated to himself, “I think I have the ability to, I think I have the ability to, I think I have the ability to…”

No way he would have made it to the top of that darn mountain; all those words would have left him winded and short of the top.

But you know how the story goes. “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can,” became, “I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could.” The kids received their toys and happiness ensued.

You’re probably not selling toys, but you are selling something, be it a product or service. Rather than telling prospects and customers you have the ability to customize orders, deliver on time or whatever, say you can.

Better yet, tell them you will and do it. Happiness will ensue.

You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. – Jack London